A place for this imaginitive, ambitious, sensitive, strong college student to write about her adventures, trials, and successes.

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What can I say? I'm an eclectic mix, a proverbial 'mixed bag'. A lot of fun and A LOT of excitement.

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Monday, August 29, 2005

Seasons may change...

Classes loom ahead. The weather is teasing with its hint of chill in the morning and evening air. Friends are packed and gone. Wal-mart is bursting with notebooks, pencils, folders, backpacks and lunchboxes, not to mention Halloween decorations. Plans are secured for the end-of-summer cookout. Footballers everywhere are training fiercely for the start of season. State, county and city fairs are making their way into towns everywhere. There's no looking back, fall is on our doorstep.

My fall is shaping up to this:
~I have officially worn a sweatshirt a couple of times (strictly morning or night, still 70s-80s during the day)
~Labor Day plans at *his* parents'
~School shopping is done, including books
~My first class is next Wednesday
~No plans as of yet for Halloween, I think maybe I'm getting too old for it anyways
~Patriots take the field for the first time in regular season next Thursday (9/8) against the Raiders
~Plans are in the works for a trip to the Fryeburg Fair the beginning of October

I have to say I am quite excited about most of the above. I am looking forward to this season of change!

3BT
1. fall clothes
2. working and getting paid
3. new experiences

Monday, August 22, 2005

"don't it always seem to go...

...that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." Okay, so I've dealt with this feeling many times in my life. In fact, so many times that I think I should be an old pro at avoiding it, but NOOOO. College. First semester freshman year so far away from home just about killed me. All my in-state friends could head home for any weekend they chose, have their parents meet them for a birthday dinner, or go see their hometown football game. I was most usually stuck on campus for the weekend, had my birthday dinner in the back of my boyfriend's pick up truck (it was romantic, though), and never got to see my brother in his freshman year of marching band. My roommate and I were about as different as night and day. Sleeping patterns, social behaviors, circle of friends, homework habits- all completely opposite. Let's just say we spent as much time away from each other as we could. So, naturally, I chose the easy way out and spent my time with my boyfriend and his friends. I think I could have been really great friends with all but like 5 of the girls on my hall had I been roommates with them. I had amazing suite mates, even. But because I didn't want to be around my roommate and was many time forced from my room by her very conservative sleep patterns, I didn't bond with the others on the hall. By the time I was ready to branch out there was an already close-knit group of people that, though they were all awesome and very friendly, I just couldn't break into. Especially with my boyfriend living in the dorm way across campus. He couldn't come spend time in my room late at night like I could his so I befriended his friends and missed out on befriending my own. I know it sounds dumb, but I really do blame my crappy first year on-campus living experience on not getting assigned with a compatible roommate. Anyways, now, with everyone slowly starting to arrive back on campus, putting their away messages up with thing like "glad to be back at LU", I find myself wishing for another try at life there. As much as I know, even with a great roommate I am probably better off closer to home, I do miss it. I miss the people and the campus and the tiny hick town. It was a really great experience and I just wish I could do it over again, see if it would be different. But, alas! The grass is always greener. I am very happy to be back here with my family. I'll be attending my bro's marching band camp cookout this Friday, I'll soon be enjoying Maine's lovely fall weather and breathtaking scenery, and commuting to school where I know everyday I'll be coming home to people I love and a comfortable home. This IS where I belong, but I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be back at ARC. Chances are I'd be miserable. One thing I have learned, no more rash decisions to go making drastic changes in my life based on fleeting feelings, because last year, when I was at LU, all I could think about was what I was missing here. You know what you green grass, you, no more fooling me, I've got you figured out.

3BT:
1. knowing there is a sweatshirt day in the near future, yay for fall!
2. having a job... with my mom
3. looking forward to school (don't worry, i'm not sick, guarantee my feelings will change after attending my first class)

Sunday, August 14, 2005

By the beard of Zeus...

I had such a great time last week! Camping, shopping, laughing, eating, bowling, watching movies, talking... it was the best time! But it was not the things we did, the movies we watched, the food we ate, or the jokes we told that made it that way. How do I know? Because even the times we said nothing, did nothing, watched nothing, ate nothing, I was still having an amazing time. You see, the week was not set aside for sight seeing or entertaining ourselves. It was for enjoying the time together, for remembering old times and forming new memories, for catching up and realizing that nothing has really changed, at least not between the two of us. It was also a time for comiserating, swapping advice, and mostly just for loving one another. Yes, this sounds mushy, and maybe you, reader, may even be getting the wrong idea. I am not talking about a boyfriend, no, I am talking about my best friend. I have found there to be no replacement for a best friend. You have one and only one true best friend in life. My boyfriend put it this way after meeting Stan,"No wonder you don't make many new friends, none could possibly live up to her." Now, granted I have made plenty of friends in my travels, some better than others, but I have been rather reluctant to spend the sort of time and effort needed to become more than just 'occasional' friends. Oh, you don't know what an occasional friend is? Well it is the friend that you don't really call much, only spend time with sporadically and infrequently, and only feel 50% comfortable with. Since Stan, I have made nothing but occasional friends. I don't know if I am just afraid, but I like to believe that it is because that spot in my life is filled. Stan and I use to spend as much time together as our parents and school would allow. Now I have seen her only twice in the last 6 years. But it has been proven that we can pick up right where we left off. It's not awkward like it is with occasional friends that you haven't seen in a couple months. Years and miles leave no scars on this friendship. It is truly the best thing, knowing that out there, only a phone call or plane ride away I have someone who always understands, who will always laugh with me and cry with me, who will sit in silence not feeling awkward but thinking about how nice it is to have me as a friend. Miles shmiles... someday I know we will live right down the street from each other swapping advice, laughs, and occasionally maybe even clothes. :) It's destiny. May the force be with us.

Stan, I do hope to see you again soon. But beware if you come up here, bring all your prized possesions because I just might not let you leave. ;)

3BT
1. Stan
2. Stan
3. Stan