A place for this imaginitive, ambitious, sensitive, strong college student to write about her adventures, trials, and successes.

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What can I say? I'm an eclectic mix, a proverbial 'mixed bag'. A lot of fun and A LOT of excitement.

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Monday, August 22, 2005

"don't it always seem to go...

...that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." Okay, so I've dealt with this feeling many times in my life. In fact, so many times that I think I should be an old pro at avoiding it, but NOOOO. College. First semester freshman year so far away from home just about killed me. All my in-state friends could head home for any weekend they chose, have their parents meet them for a birthday dinner, or go see their hometown football game. I was most usually stuck on campus for the weekend, had my birthday dinner in the back of my boyfriend's pick up truck (it was romantic, though), and never got to see my brother in his freshman year of marching band. My roommate and I were about as different as night and day. Sleeping patterns, social behaviors, circle of friends, homework habits- all completely opposite. Let's just say we spent as much time away from each other as we could. So, naturally, I chose the easy way out and spent my time with my boyfriend and his friends. I think I could have been really great friends with all but like 5 of the girls on my hall had I been roommates with them. I had amazing suite mates, even. But because I didn't want to be around my roommate and was many time forced from my room by her very conservative sleep patterns, I didn't bond with the others on the hall. By the time I was ready to branch out there was an already close-knit group of people that, though they were all awesome and very friendly, I just couldn't break into. Especially with my boyfriend living in the dorm way across campus. He couldn't come spend time in my room late at night like I could his so I befriended his friends and missed out on befriending my own. I know it sounds dumb, but I really do blame my crappy first year on-campus living experience on not getting assigned with a compatible roommate. Anyways, now, with everyone slowly starting to arrive back on campus, putting their away messages up with thing like "glad to be back at LU", I find myself wishing for another try at life there. As much as I know, even with a great roommate I am probably better off closer to home, I do miss it. I miss the people and the campus and the tiny hick town. It was a really great experience and I just wish I could do it over again, see if it would be different. But, alas! The grass is always greener. I am very happy to be back here with my family. I'll be attending my bro's marching band camp cookout this Friday, I'll soon be enjoying Maine's lovely fall weather and breathtaking scenery, and commuting to school where I know everyday I'll be coming home to people I love and a comfortable home. This IS where I belong, but I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be back at ARC. Chances are I'd be miserable. One thing I have learned, no more rash decisions to go making drastic changes in my life based on fleeting feelings, because last year, when I was at LU, all I could think about was what I was missing here. You know what you green grass, you, no more fooling me, I've got you figured out.

3BT:
1. knowing there is a sweatshirt day in the near future, yay for fall!
2. having a job... with my mom
3. looking forward to school (don't worry, i'm not sick, guarantee my feelings will change after attending my first class)