A place for this imaginitive, ambitious, sensitive, strong college student to write about her adventures, trials, and successes.

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Location: United States

What can I say? I'm an eclectic mix, a proverbial 'mixed bag'. A lot of fun and A LOT of excitement.

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Princess Girly Girl

Jessa's Vent Station


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Monday, August 29, 2005

Seasons may change...

Classes loom ahead. The weather is teasing with its hint of chill in the morning and evening air. Friends are packed and gone. Wal-mart is bursting with notebooks, pencils, folders, backpacks and lunchboxes, not to mention Halloween decorations. Plans are secured for the end-of-summer cookout. Footballers everywhere are training fiercely for the start of season. State, county and city fairs are making their way into towns everywhere. There's no looking back, fall is on our doorstep.

My fall is shaping up to this:
~I have officially worn a sweatshirt a couple of times (strictly morning or night, still 70s-80s during the day)
~Labor Day plans at *his* parents'
~School shopping is done, including books
~My first class is next Wednesday
~No plans as of yet for Halloween, I think maybe I'm getting too old for it anyways
~Patriots take the field for the first time in regular season next Thursday (9/8) against the Raiders
~Plans are in the works for a trip to the Fryeburg Fair the beginning of October

I have to say I am quite excited about most of the above. I am looking forward to this season of change!

1. fall clothes
2. working and getting paid
3. new experiences

Monday, August 22, 2005

"don't it always seem to go...

...that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." Okay, so I've dealt with this feeling many times in my life. In fact, so many times that I think I should be an old pro at avoiding it, but NOOOO. College. First semester freshman year so far away from home just about killed me. All my in-state friends could head home for any weekend they chose, have their parents meet them for a birthday dinner, or go see their hometown football game. I was most usually stuck on campus for the weekend, had my birthday dinner in the back of my boyfriend's pick up truck (it was romantic, though), and never got to see my brother in his freshman year of marching band. My roommate and I were about as different as night and day. Sleeping patterns, social behaviors, circle of friends, homework habits- all completely opposite. Let's just say we spent as much time away from each other as we could. So, naturally, I chose the easy way out and spent my time with my boyfriend and his friends. I think I could have been really great friends with all but like 5 of the girls on my hall had I been roommates with them. I had amazing suite mates, even. But because I didn't want to be around my roommate and was many time forced from my room by her very conservative sleep patterns, I didn't bond with the others on the hall. By the time I was ready to branch out there was an already close-knit group of people that, though they were all awesome and very friendly, I just couldn't break into. Especially with my boyfriend living in the dorm way across campus. He couldn't come spend time in my room late at night like I could his so I befriended his friends and missed out on befriending my own. I know it sounds dumb, but I really do blame my crappy first year on-campus living experience on not getting assigned with a compatible roommate. Anyways, now, with everyone slowly starting to arrive back on campus, putting their away messages up with thing like "glad to be back at LU", I find myself wishing for another try at life there. As much as I know, even with a great roommate I am probably better off closer to home, I do miss it. I miss the people and the campus and the tiny hick town. It was a really great experience and I just wish I could do it over again, see if it would be different. But, alas! The grass is always greener. I am very happy to be back here with my family. I'll be attending my bro's marching band camp cookout this Friday, I'll soon be enjoying Maine's lovely fall weather and breathtaking scenery, and commuting to school where I know everyday I'll be coming home to people I love and a comfortable home. This IS where I belong, but I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be back at ARC. Chances are I'd be miserable. One thing I have learned, no more rash decisions to go making drastic changes in my life based on fleeting feelings, because last year, when I was at LU, all I could think about was what I was missing here. You know what you green grass, you, no more fooling me, I've got you figured out.

1. knowing there is a sweatshirt day in the near future, yay for fall!
2. having a job... with my mom
3. looking forward to school (don't worry, i'm not sick, guarantee my feelings will change after attending my first class)

Sunday, August 14, 2005

By the beard of Zeus...

I had such a great time last week! Camping, shopping, laughing, eating, bowling, watching movies, talking... it was the best time! But it was not the things we did, the movies we watched, the food we ate, or the jokes we told that made it that way. How do I know? Because even the times we said nothing, did nothing, watched nothing, ate nothing, I was still having an amazing time. You see, the week was not set aside for sight seeing or entertaining ourselves. It was for enjoying the time together, for remembering old times and forming new memories, for catching up and realizing that nothing has really changed, at least not between the two of us. It was also a time for comiserating, swapping advice, and mostly just for loving one another. Yes, this sounds mushy, and maybe you, reader, may even be getting the wrong idea. I am not talking about a boyfriend, no, I am talking about my best friend. I have found there to be no replacement for a best friend. You have one and only one true best friend in life. My boyfriend put it this way after meeting Stan,"No wonder you don't make many new friends, none could possibly live up to her." Now, granted I have made plenty of friends in my travels, some better than others, but I have been rather reluctant to spend the sort of time and effort needed to become more than just 'occasional' friends. Oh, you don't know what an occasional friend is? Well it is the friend that you don't really call much, only spend time with sporadically and infrequently, and only feel 50% comfortable with. Since Stan, I have made nothing but occasional friends. I don't know if I am just afraid, but I like to believe that it is because that spot in my life is filled. Stan and I use to spend as much time together as our parents and school would allow. Now I have seen her only twice in the last 6 years. But it has been proven that we can pick up right where we left off. It's not awkward like it is with occasional friends that you haven't seen in a couple months. Years and miles leave no scars on this friendship. It is truly the best thing, knowing that out there, only a phone call or plane ride away I have someone who always understands, who will always laugh with me and cry with me, who will sit in silence not feeling awkward but thinking about how nice it is to have me as a friend. Miles shmiles... someday I know we will live right down the street from each other swapping advice, laughs, and occasionally maybe even clothes. :) It's destiny. May the force be with us.

Stan, I do hope to see you again soon. But beware if you come up here, bring all your prized possesions because I just might not let you leave. ;)

1. Stan
2. Stan
3. Stan

Saturday, July 16, 2005

...And a life it is...

Remember my last post (well, if you don't you can just scroll down and look at it)? Well, I think I have done a pretty decent job of making it happen. Complete with a new hair-do, pretty nails and tanning appointments, I now have things to happily fill my summer time with. Yay! I've gone out to movies with friends, out on dates with my boy, sat around a few campfires and gone out to eat with family. It's been very fun! Uh oh, is that what I think it is? Cue the News Center Special Report music
****We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this breaking news****
I have just received Book 6, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!!!! Came to my doorstep at 12:15- just now! Thank God for pre-ordering! Anyways, I suppose I will give you the other good news I have to share before I get settled into reading (even though I'd rather start now).

This is particularly good news though, so I am happy to take the time to tell you. I'm going on vacation. To Missouri. I'm going camping with my bestest friend who I haven't seen in like 4 years. I CANNOT wait. OMG, it is going to be the best time ever. I think instead of driving we're going to take the bus. We will be driving the 24 hour drive there. Which will prove to be the most interesting part of the trip. So I will be gone August 5-10 enjoying myself and catching up with my favorite person! It's going to be a blast.

1. planning a vacation
2. talking to a good friend
3. getting a new book

Monday, June 20, 2005

I need a life... that includes a new job

I don't want to write. I feel the NEED to update, but I really don't want to. Nothing interesting goes on and if it does I'm too busy to write about it and after a few weeks have gone by I can never recall it while sitting in front of the computer screen (or under it in the case of my laptop). So anyways, I'm working at this temp job selling cellular product, fielding customer complaints, taking bill payments and pretty much trying to fix anything that might go wrong with phones, billing, and overall service. There is a lot to what I do, or should do, stuff that even if I was with the company for years I may never know how to do. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate not knowing how to do things? Its so hard to learn too- with all my 'experienced' co-workers being almost always too busy to train me so that if I have a question or don't know how to do something I either have to interrupt them and their customer or stand there looking like an idiot waiting for them to be done. It's soooo frustrating. And stressful. People are very touchy about their cellular service. Anyways, there's way too much for me to mess up, way too much I still don't know (after a whole month), too many nights working later than I am scheduled, way too many unhappy customers... yeah, you get the picture. I hate my job. I think I'm going to give my 2 weeks notice tomorrow. Especially since I really don't have any sort of a life right now. I really appreciate the money, but I gotta do more than work, eat, sleep. I'm too young to spend my summer just working- I gotta get out and have some funky times. Okay so you as my witness I'm starting right now making sure I have a fun time this summer. So if you notice me slipping into a routine, yell at me! See now I've dragged you into this. No, no, I won't let you wash your hands of this, you're gonna help me out. Thanks in advance! :)

1. chicken patties
2. daddy
3. making plans to get out of the house

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


No, I'm not referring to the tomato-ey dipping sauce, but rather just trying to be 'cute'. So here's the deal, I'm going to catch you up on whats going on...
1. I'm living in a super duper apartment with my mom and my boyfriend (complete with a new comfy queen sized bed)
2. I am currently working through a temp agency at Unicel (wireless service provider). I switch between the Kennebunk and Saco locations as my manager sees fit. I am starting to feel comfortable there, even though there is a lot to learn and so I happily accepted the offer from the manager to be hired on by Unicel. On days like today and yesterday I am reminded of how nice it is to be sitting at a desk in an airconditioned office rather than other less desirable jobs I COULD be doing. Sometimes the closing process in the evening takes a little longer so my 9-6 shift can easily become a 9-6, 630 or even 7 shift. This has caused a few problems with the boyfriend and I, especially since he doesn't have a job as of yet and has been home by himself for a couple of weeks. Its probably like those that you used to stay home from school, you think, wow its nice not to have to be in school, but then you realize no one else is home to hang out with so it just becomes horribly lonely and boring. I'm sure once he gets a job everything will be great.

3. I am in the process of transferring to USM and I should be registering for my new classes very soon. Cross your fingers. Things don't seem to be going smoothly as of yet.

Well I am tired and I have to get up early so its off to bed... sorry it has taken so long to get going on this again... I just never seem to have the time. This is a start though!

1. a big comfy bed to share with the one you love
2. a steady paycheck
3. finding you can do something, even when at first it seems overwhelming

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Here I Go Again...

Yup, I'm on the move once again. This is the second time in my life that I have moved back to Maine from Virginia. The second time doesn't make it any easier. Sure I'm happy to be going back to my family and taking a lot of stress away by commuting to school and saving myself A LOT of cash. I'm also happy to be living in an apartment with people I love. This year I will get to see my brother in the marching band and go to his concerts, I can be there to talk to him about his 'girl problems'. I'll be able to have a more stable job since I will have easy access to my car (and if you're wondering about this, you should just see how far my car was parked away from campus- might as well have left it in Maine). I will get to see my family whenever I need/want to. It will be beautiful. But with all the wonderful things I am looking forward to I am also dreading leaving FarmVegas. Longwood is such a great place. It is comfortable and inviting. My super cool suitemates, my roommate (for as much as we didn't really become best friends or anything, she was always good company and we never had any problems), all of the honors kids (nicest, coolest people EVER), the friends I met through Billy (God love 'the boys'- Dan and Josh, the two awesomest theatre majors ever). Then there were the super professors I had. Dr. Buchert and Dr. Laws kicked some serious psych butt! And Dr. Salyer, or should I say Greg, wow! There are no facts and history is only a matter of opinion. Also, thanks to Greg I am in love with Jon Stewart and The Daily Show. I had such a blast and at the same time learned more than in all my other classes combined. All in all there are some of the greatest people on earth here. Not to mention all the luxuries of college that I'm going to miss like walking only a few steps and having food already cooked and ready to eat- a pretty good variety, too. Then there's having the library right across from my residence hall, being able to go next door or down the hall to hang out, none of this making plans stuff, its all spontaneity here, baby. What a great experience. I can't believe its over already. It is so bittersweet. I've learned a lot and I've grown, but I'm still the same person and I'm about to close another short chapter and begin a new one and I believe I really am ready. Time to say 'goodbye', I will never forget the great times, but it is time to go make some new memories. I'm ready, here I go...

1. being only 2 days away from seeing my family
2. having one more day here that I can cherish
3. knowing that I'm gonna be alright