A place for this imaginitive, ambitious, sensitive, strong college student to write about her adventures, trials, and successes.

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What can I say? I'm an eclectic mix, a proverbial 'mixed bag'. A lot of fun and A LOT of excitement.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Kelly Monster Posted by Hello

Home again, home again...

So yet again it has been awhile since my last post. I must admit that this time it is not so much that I have been busy, but rather that I have been avoiding thinking since my finals. Anyways, much to my relief I am done with finals and now safe at home. In fact, I just checked my grades for the semester online today and they are as follows:
English: A-
Statistics: A
Freshman Seminar: A
Biopsychology: B+
Spanish: A
My current GPA is 3.786

So as you can imagine I am quite excited and breathing lungs full of relief. With that over my days are now reduced to, well, not much actually. I'm REALLY bored. It's quite funny. I definitely don't want to be back at school but I am very very bored. I made brownies today, did housework and had coffee ready for when dad got home. This, you must understand, is very pathetic. I knew I would regret doing all of my wrapping on Sunday. At least I have some baking to do in the next few days. That will keep me busy. It's really cutting down on my social life not having 24 hour access to people by just walking down the hall, or heck, through the bathroom. I guess campus life is both convenient and deceiving. In the real world I have to make calls, make plans, and get in a car to be social. I'm not anxious for Christmas. I try most times not to be anxious about things that I am looking forward to because then they go by so damn fast and then they are over and I am left feeling lost and disappointed. Another down side of being back (I think so far there are only 2) is that Billy's mom has not changed. She still treats Billy like a little child and that cuts down even more on my social life. I'm used to seeing Billy on a daily basis at school. I think that besides sleeping, the longest we've ever gone at school without seeing one another is 5 or 6 hours. Now, you see, I anticipated not seeing him as much. A 7 minute drive down the road, as opposed to the 5 minute walk across campus alone is enough to ensure that. Put that together with the family time that both of us need plus the absence of our weekend sleepovers, inability to eat every meal together, and time spent with friends and I had accounted for significantally less time spent together. BUT, I hadn't tought that his mom would still tell him when to be home and argue when he wanted to spend the night at my house. For god's sake MY dad said he could be here whenever he wants. MY dad. For those of you who know my dad... the same dad that this summer told me that if Billy was in my room that I had to keep the door open (even at 18)... if he could give me some slack, goddamnit, Kelly should be able to loosen her grasp on her beloved baby boy. But no. NO NO NO. GRRRR. And every time I try to say something to him, assuring him that it is not natural for her to be so possesive and controlling he gets quiet. It is obvious he does not want to talk about it, and perhaps even resents me for bringing it up. It's soooo hard. I want him to see that he doesn't have to put up with it, but I can see he doesn't want to hear it, at least not from me. Maybe he likes being under his mother's thumb all the time. Whatever his maniacal reason for accepting her evil torture, I simply can't stand it! I can't stand her theories, rules, and evil reasoning and I'm beginning to resent him for not confronting this beast of an annoyance. Can't he be more of a man than this? Looking at his dad I can see that it is quite near impossible. Ugh. Well thank God we're at school for 7 out of the 12 months of the year... far, far away from mommy. I love Kelly as a person, but as an evil dictatorette she is absolutely unbearable. Pray to God I am never like her- and that I never make Billy too afraid to confront me that he just accepts conditions that he doesn't necessarily like or agree with. Sometimes I see him just avoiding confrontation in instances not involving his mom and I recognize that she has created a testicless monster. Well, enough, I could go on all Christmas break about her... and I'm sure you will hear about it again before I go back to LU. Anyways, I am glad to be home, despite the boredom and feeling as though Billy and I are 15 again. Maybe he'll be struck with some rock and come to his senses. Or better yet, she'll do something that sets him off real bad and he will finally stand up to her. Hahahahahahaahaha! Wishful thinking. Until then I am bored and frustrated. Hope something cheers me up soon. Signing off for now.
Hope Santa thinks I've been good this year! I think he can just look at my GPA!

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Freaking out is not all that its cracked up to be.

I am NOTORIOUS for freaking out about things. Homework, papers, tests especially. If I have 2 or more of any of these things (or a combination of 2 or more) going on at once I am a bucket full 'o stress. I can't stop thinking about the things I have to do. Whenever my mind isn't occupied by something else, in creeps my nagging to-do list. But you know what I've found out? It's NEVER as bad as it seems. This past week I was freaking out about some assignments and a project that I had to get done for this week. I had divided the work between this weekend and the upcoming week in order to give myself some leeway. Even though I had planned things out and knew I didn't have to worry it was still weighing on my mind. Every time my mind wandered for a second I started internally reciting what I had to do and when I was going to do it. So this weekend I sat down and started working on the things that were due. Turns out I finished EVERYTHING. And I didn't even have to work all weekend. I still had time to watch Law and Order re-runs on USA and take some time to be with Billy. Tonight Billy went back to his room at 7 and I had nothing to do. I created a study schedule for this week so that I am sure to ace my exams. Other than studying I have nothing left to do. Wow! So what was all that freaking out about? Sometimes I wonder why I can't be more like Billy. He doesn't worry about his work at all. He does it when it needs to be done and puts it out of his mind at all other times. Perhaps I am just overcompensating for my procrastination problem. Whatever it is, its surely annoying. I think I should be able to write it on my to-do list and then forget about it until it is time to do it. That will be my New Year's resolution.

On a more upbeat note, I talked to my dad and brother tonight. My brother, who never has anything to say to his dear older sister, somehow found himself immersed in exciting conversation tonight. I have to give him a break, he is a typical high school freshman. 4 years ago I wasn't so interested in talking to family on the phone either, heck I wasn't all that interested in family. But anyways, tonight was great. The first thing he said when I got on the phone was "12 days". OMG! That was the most touching thing he has said to me. He is counting down the days until I am home! I miss him so much. I miss him always messing things up and his annoying banter about video games. In fact, I've agreed to play video games with him when I am back. We talked about what we would do while I was there and it made me soooo ready to leave. I can't wait! He told me about school (which if you have never asked a high schooler how school is, you must know it is like pulling teeth to get them to say anything more than 'good') and he told me that they had fixed up my room for me to stay in, and that they had wallpapered his room. He talked my ear off. I had to stop him so that I could talk to dad a little. Talking to dad was good too. He seemed a little preoccupied but his girlfriend was there so I guess it was understandable. But we made plans to go on a shopping trip to pick out things for my Christmas gifts and also for my nieces. Last year was fun and I expect this year to be also. I'm not sure how its going to be with him having a girlfriend, but I will adjust. I'm glad to hear everyone is excited about my arrival. Like I said before, I can't wait! 12 days.

Thankful for today:
Sleeping in til noon

P.S.- Jessa I saw your message. I am going to call your cell this week sometime after 9 one night! I miss you and hope everything is going well.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

This should help. Posted by Hello

Crunch time.

Okay, so it's been awhile. I'm just a little busy right now. Finals are a week and a half away. I have 3 projects due plus other various assignments to keep up with and a test tomorrow. It's 'Crunch Time'. I've been a tad bit stressed. But just for an update, Thanksgiving Break was wonderful. For a more in depth update, please refer to my mom's blog Princess Girly Girl's Blog. I'm sorry, I really don't have time to tell you the wonders of my stress free life while I am in the midst of the most stressful two weeks of the semester. However, as promised I am going to leave you a few things that I am currently thankful for.

1. Late night talks about 'the good-ol'-days.
2. Tasteful Treasures party on campus lead by a very enthusiastic middle-aged woman that reminded me of my Auntie G. (oh and don't forget the free penis pen topper that I got)
3. Having all my Christmas shopping done.
4. Christmas vacations starts in 16 days.
5. The crazy, sporadic Virginia weather, ie. went to my 9 am class in hard, cold pouring rain and hurricane force winds (hurricane is a slight exaggeration)- left class at 10 am to find sunshine, 60 degree weather and a slight breeze.
5. Chicken biscuit Tuesdays courtesy of Lancer Cafe's very own Chik-fil-a. They break the dining hall monotony.