A place for this imaginitive, ambitious, sensitive, strong college student to write about her adventures, trials, and successes.

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What can I say? I'm an eclectic mix, a proverbial 'mixed bag'. A lot of fun and A LOT of excitement.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Okay, so yet again I have failed miserably at keeping y'all updated, but in my defense I had a busy week last week. I had 2 papers to write, massive amounts of reading, and a presentation to get in order. Monday was the big day. I turned both of my papers in and did my presentation. I always feel good about doing presentations cuz (not to brag) but they are usually better than most of my peers'. I had fun anyways, even though I was a little nervous before I got up there. I did get embarassed cuz I couldn't get the little dial on the clicker thing to work out so I kept skipping by all my slides. It was a really dumb contraption... it should have been made so that one could simply push a button to get to the next slide, not turn a complicated dial very gently. Anyways, apparently it was just me cuz none of my classmates had any problems with it. Well now that thats over, I have two weeks of tests coming up. This week it's Sociology and Psych Research methods- shouldn't be too hard.

I stayed up til 3am last night. I don't ever do that. 130- 2 I might do occasionally, but 3am on a weeknight is something only Billy does. I'm sure I could get used to staying up that late if I did it as much as him, but God, I feel like a zombie without a good amount of sleep. So anyways, it was our friend Josh's birthday, so he decided that a good party would be to rent some porn and watch it with his friends. I can't say I was a really big fan of this. First of all he was turning 19- not 18 so I would expect for the novelty to have worn off by now. Second of all, sitting in a room with 2 couples (me and Billy, Dan and Allison) doesn't seem to be the normal way to watch porn. Josh IS sex deprived right now, but I would think that he would prefer to watch the porn alone so that he might have some quality time to *ahem* himself *ahem*. But I guess to guys, there is nothing more entertaining than sitting in a room with other guys watching unrealistic and often boring sex. I can't believe he couldn't think of anything better to do. I didn't really want to stay and watch it, but I figured if Billy was gonna watch it, my best bet was to be there. I wasn't impressed. To top it all off, it was bad porn. A crappy 80's Jenna Jameson flick (not her best) and 'Sorority Sluts'. It was really boring. I didn't think sex could be THAT boring. Have I mentioned I'm not a big fan of porn? See, I would much prefer to see the scenes that you don't see in the sexy movies, you know with good acting and sexy actors and actresses? Come on, you know you always wanted to see a little more of that hot scene with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman... or what happens after Baby's shirt comes off in Dirty Dancing. That's what porn should be. Elaboration of the hot 'sex' scenes from movies. Not this rubbish where the girls are moaning and screaming every second (so obviously fake) with little or no plot and absolutely ugly stars (except for a select few of course, none of them male- the guys in last nights flick all looked like Fabio- ick!). I won't lie that I've seen things that turn me on a little but its never been a porn. Sometimes its even the scenes you don't see that really get ya going- know what I mean? So anyways, I stayed up super late just to see Jenna Jameson fake her orgasms. Good thing I like Josh.

Today was VERY good. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that my mood often fluctuates with the weather... Anyways, today was sunny and 75. I'd call that PERFECT! Especially compared to 52 degrees in good ole Maine. My afternoon class got cancelled so I got to get out and enjoy the nice weather. I ate dinner outside and I also went to the bookstore. I bought a Longwood University Nalgene bottle, a pair of comfy gray longwood shorts, and some Burt's Bees lip gloss- raspberry flavored. I took a little nap with Billy because of last night's late adventures and now I am back here, trying to get some work done. You can see how well it is going. Anything to procrastinate on my homework.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot... my birthday...
I had a really great birthday! All of my friends messaged me to wish me a good day and it really made me smile. My suitemates decorated the bathroom for me- Brittany and Maryanna rock! Then Billy took me out to get some fried chicken, which we sat and ate in the bed of his truck in a field and watched the sun go down. He bought me a cool shower head for the apartment (that my mom is currently hunting down) it's one of the ones that has a cord and you can take it down and use it. I really liked the one he had at his house so he got me one. He also bought bubble bath (I think he is hoping that we have a tub at the apartment, hehe, he's sneaky) and a memory book starter kit in Longwood colors that we can make about our year here. We came back to my place and watched Finding Neverland- I loved it! I thought it was a very awesome night. Easter was also fun. Billy and I exchanged easter baskets! I got a frame (for a cute pic of us that we are gonna take here to remind us of Longwood) a Robots coloring book, and a bunch of peeps and chocolate candy. We had McDonald's for Easter dinner. I didn't mind cuz I felt like splurging since Monday was the start of my 'bikini diet'. This is the diet where I try to look in top shape for bikini season. So anyways, things are going well... only 38 days left at Longwood. I'm hoping to make the best of them.

1. birds chirping
2. diet pepsi (i'm addicted)
3. shorts

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I'm bad at this...

Sometimes I realize that I am just really bad at keeping a journal-type-thingie. I get distracted easily. But anyways, I had a very good spring break. I got to spend some time with a few good friends and go out to dinner with my family. I had more delays and spent way too much time in Newark airport once again on my way back, not fun. That place is cursed. Now I'm back at school and the sh*t is hitting the fan. I have a crapload of work to get done. Paper here, project there, its so overwhelming! I know it will be fine, though. I made it through last semester and I can do it again. The most exciting thing is that when this semester is over I will be going home- and STAYING home! Minus moving into a comfy apartment with mom! It's so exciting! I don't really have much more to say right now, I'm just so busy. Check in next week, perhaps things will be dying down.

1. easter baskets
2. birthdays
3. cool green optical computer mouses! say goodbye to the annoying touch pad!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

The Great Airport Adventure

I have been waiting rather impatiently for this weekend back home in Maine. I miss my family and I desperately need a break from school. Everything was all set. William and I were heading out Friday night, staying in a hotel in Richmond to get up early the next morning to fly out. At 6:35 AM on Saturday we boarded the plane to Newark, New Jersey. We knew they were calling for snow in Maine, but so far everything looked clear. After a quick layover we were boarding the plane for Portland which was on time. Mom said there was a little snow, but nothing horrible. 35 minutes into our short 50 minute flight the pilot warned us that we were beginning our initial descent into Portland. About 15 minutes later the pilot came back on the intercom and had some disheartening news. We were circling the Portland airport, but things were looking bleak. Visibility was low. With the 3rd announcement, my much anticipated trip home turned into hell. "Conditions have worsened in Portland and the crew does not want to get stuck in Portland should we land. We are heading back to Newark." My immediate reaction was devastated. An already short visit to my home was being cut short. Arriving in Newark only brought about more trouble. We stood at the service desk for a half hour while the woman serving us just stared confused at the computer screen. After a long silence broken only occasionly by the fierce tapping of keys, she handed us a boarding pass envelope and mumbled something about a flight leaving in 10 minutes and a possible weight restriction. We checked the gate number and proceeded toward what seemed like another certain disappointment. How could a plane land an hour after we had just been turned away? As we sat waiting to board we noticed that she had only given us only one boarding pass; it had my name on it. One look at the line at the service desk told us we would be destined to miss the flight if we stood in line. William told me to go ahead, he would catch the next flight he could. I didn't like this idea, but I couldn't argue with him. It was either go on the plane or miss it and have to pay for a new ticket. William decided it would be good to go check on our luggage and headed off. The minute he was out of sight I knew I couldn't take the flight. What if the plane got diverted again? I would be stuck in Newark all by myself. William doesn't have a cell phone so I would worry sick about him, not knowing how or where he was. Not to mention it was crazy to even be sending another flight to Portland in the current weather conditions. I called Mom and she reassured me that it would NOT be a good idea to get on the plane. The line was still long at the service desk and I knew I couldn't wait. I then moved to the desk at the gate. I explained my situation. She told me if I didn't get on the flight it would just automatically cancel. Sounded decent enough, but most likely meant I would need to pay for a new ticket. Wait, she says, I don't see any add-ons anyways so I don't think you can get on. Alright, time to get back in line and try to get new tickets. But where is William? I decided to have him paged. After waiting for 20 minutes, I figured he wasn't coming. If he went to baggage he probably coulndn't get back through security. Well, since I was right there I might was well get my ticket situation figured out. The lady looked at me funny when I said I couldn't go on the flight. Where is the young man? she asked. He was supposed to get on the plane. What? I know she only gave me one boarding pass. She had also already booked us for tomorrow's flight in case the plane got diverted again. But she hadn't told us any of this when we were at the desk before. Again she only gave me one boarding pass and told me it would work for both of us. Which I highly doubted would slide with security. My newest fear was finding William. I had NO idea where he could be. He obviously wasn't hearing me page over the airport intercom. After a call to his mom I figured out where he must be. I finally found him sitting with his head phones on playing on his laptop! What a sigh of relief. Just a few minutes before while I was searching frantically for him, I had practically had a breakdown. I was in tears, lost in the HUGE Newark airport. Don't be mislead- I have compacted this story for more interesting reading, but the whole ordeal took over 2 hours to figure out. We ended up getting flights for the next morning. We spent a good amount on a hotel room for the night. At least we got some good sleep and a chance to relax. But wow! I am still close to never wanting to fly again. That was a nightmare. To top it all off, I arrived in Maine to be greeted by a couple feet of snow on the ground. Makes a girl question moving back to such a place. Anyways, I am now safe at home just trying to finally relax.

1. breathing a great big sigh of relief
2. family
3. going out for *good* chinese food

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Is love real?

When I say love, I mean this glorified idea of love. The love we see in the movies; the love we are all waiting for. Can true love sweep us off our feet on a daily basis? Or is love destined to settle into a routine? Imagine that first kiss with a new person. That excitement and anxiety. Can you have that same feeling forever with one person? Or are you destined to take it all for granted: the sweet kisses, the passionate embraces, the stolen glances, the loving caresses? Does all love lose its romance after awhile? I can't say I want to settle for the routine, the meaningless pecks. Sure I don't think you are doomed to fall out of love eventually, but perhaps it is inevitable that the romance die down and the connection only be shared on a deeper level without the fairy-tale feelings. I enjoy the intimate bond that comes late in a relationship, but find myself missing the excitement. Sometimes I really want to be swept off my feet again and feel the romance all over again. It's not that I don't like where the relationship is now, I just miss the old feelings. So can there be a lifetime of edge-of-your-seat romance spent with a single person?

Monday, March 07, 2005

What if you were interviewed by your mom?

Well, it just so happens I have been. But, I asked for it. You see, mother dear took a survey that someone sent her that had taken a survey that someone sent her... and so on. It is a very cool concept because the person giving the survey makes up the questions based on what they know about you, however much it is. Then from the answers given, the interviewer and other readers can get to know the person in ways they probably never would have. Unlike most surveys and the like these are not your simple 'what is your favorite movie' type questions, but thought provoking, sometimes personal questions that evoke very personal answers. I often find that these type of questions will help the person answering them to learn more about themselves than those who read will learn. My mom probably has quite an unfair advantage as an interviewer, but hey, the questions are bound to be more thought provoking, right? Well here goes!

We all know you're a struggling college student, what has been the toughest thing about your first year at college? I am a planner. Most of my excitement has always come from making plans and not necessarily from actually carrying out these plans. Every situation, every moment I think about who or what I will be in the next moment or situation. It has to be better tomorrow, right? I tell myself lies. One of the biggest lies I ever believed was that I was 'born' for college. I truly believed that I would come into my element once I made it to college. High school was always a bummer, surrounded by people my age, but not my maturity level, etc. I have practically been waiting all my life for this moment. And now I am here, and I am going out of my mind. There was the initial shock and stress and homesickness. But beyond that I realized that I wasn't as ready for college as I thought. Sure, I have gotten used to it and I enjoy it- but it certaintly isn't much better than high school. I think I have finally figured it out. Things really are what you make them. With all the planning I did for college, I never actually thought about the reality of it. I still have to live, to put forth effort. College itself isn't just going to make me happy, I have to do it. I have to find what is right for me by actually living. I have now decided that I don't exactly know what I want to do with the rest of my life, or even the rest of my college career, but that realization has in fact made me happier. I am now beginning to enjoy being a college student. And that has been the toughest thing for me: Realizing that I just have to live and decide as I go; I can't plan ahead for everything and I don't need to know what I want to do right now. It has been a real turn-around for me, and it feels really good.

What would be your dream job?
My dream job would be a job that I could listen to people and use my knowledge to help them, and of course, make enough money to live comfortably. This immediately sounds like a psychologist, but you would be surprised to learn that once you actually start making your way into the world of psychology that it just isn't that simple. I have to categorize myself and learn all this stuff that I will never use. It evens seems as though the psychological powers that be want students to be neurological and/or experimental psychologists. No one talks about the therapist that listens to people, and if by chance counseling psychology is mentioned, it is as if it were an afterthought, a mumble. It's research, research, research. That is not what I signed up for. Sure I like science enough, but that is not how I picture my life- rigid, structured, and held down by the boundaries and rules of science. Help!?

So you're moving back to Maine from Virginia. Name your 5 favorite things about both states, and your 5 least favorite.
Maine first because that is where it all started!
1. The beaches. The rocky beaches are gorgeous and I can't say I've found anything that makes me feel more connected to nature than Maine's southern shore.
2. The snow. It's pretty! And believe it or not Mainers should feel lucky because there are many people out there that would give anything for a good snowstorm.
3. My family. My family is one of the only things in life that is stable and I cannot live without them. They are my sounding board, my firm foundation, my home. I am very dependent on my family's love.
4. The summers. There is NOTHING like a Maine summer! I can't think of anywhere I would rather spend my summer. Though it is short-lived, it is VERY beautiful and offers so many opportunities. Daytime temperatures range from the 60s to the 90s, but most generally stay around the upper 70s to mid 80s. PERFECT! Evening temperatures often dip down just enough to haul your sweatshirt out or sit around a fire. This type of weather coupled with the beautiful landscape makes Maine the ideal place for camping, fishing, hiking, etc. All things that I feel everyone needs more of!
5. The ice cream. Nobody does ice cream like Maine. There are more ice cream shops in the North East probably than anywhere in the world and it sure is a beautiful thing. Most places serve homemade ice cream and I have had the pleasure to work for the best for the past 3 years. Get yourself some Shain's of Maine ice cream and you'll never feel the same about your Ben and Jerry's pint again. Vermont's got nothing on us!

Least Favorites:
1. Snow. I know I just said it was my favorite- and it is! But only until December 26. Then it just gets redundant and never goes away. It makes you want to hermit yourself away and sometimes it feels like spring will never come.
2. Change? What's that? Mainers are stubborn. They don't want to see change- EVER! The simplest things stay the same old ancient way just because we're too afraid it will hurt nature, bring more crime, or we just plain don't want our lives to change. Things like computers instead of typewriters in the town hall for instance, are changes for the better. Things go quicker and people are less grouchy, right? Not in Maine. Change is the 'debil'. I like Maine's quaint seclusion from the rest of the world most of the time, but sometimes it goes a little too far.
3. Maine? Whats that? Nobody knows a damn thing about Maine except that it is up North and it is cold. Tell anyone you are from Maine and things get quiet. No interesting questions. Take for instance I said I lived in California, people would ask questions- 'have you been to hollywood?' 'how bout San Francisco?' but no one even knows the capital city much less what Maine has to offer. Maine doesn't have any interesting stories, unless you count yearly snowfall amounts. People listen when you talk about snow.
4. Seafood. Everyone likes seafood. But not me. I'll eat some shrimp, maybe the occasional piece of fried haddock but thats about it. NO, I DON'T LIKE LOBSTER! Don't bother with your sob story of how it costs an arm and a leg for lobster where you live and that you'd give anything to get some delicious lobster at Maine's prices. I don't care. I don't like lobster and for all I care all the lobster in the Atlantic Ocean could die. Why is it that lobster has to be Maine's one claim to fame? Couldn't it be ice cream?
5. Sneaky, Sneaky. You live in Maine, you have all kinds of complaints, and then you sit down to write down all the things you hate and you can't come up with more than 4 things. In fact, you realize you don't even really hate the things you just mentioned. Maine has this sneaky way of forcing you to like it. Forget the frigid temps and that dastardly lobster, you can no longer think of any reason why you would abandon such a beautiful state. Damn that Maine! Yeah, I miss that f***ing lobster.

Okay, wow, that took a long time... Virginia's turn!
1. The two one-month periods that could be loosely characterized by the terms Fall and Spring. There really isn't much different between them. Both include mild temps and warm fuzzy feelings.
2. Metropolis. 'You're gonna LOVE Richmond!' I hate to say it, but I do. It's nice to enjoy a city every now and then and Richmond is the perfect city. Not too big, not too little.
3. The schools. I learned more and was challenged far more when I attended school in VA than good ole ME. There were more opportunities for me to exercise my academic ability. Overall it was a better learning environment and I credit the Hanover County school system for much of my success to this day.
4. The attractions. Theme parks, battlefield parks, easy access to the nation's capitol, rich history. The area is just overflowing with things to see and do. If one were to take advantage of all that VA had to offer, he/she would be busy for a very long time.
5. The accent. Some people don't have an accent, but a lot of people do. It's warm and welcoming. I think a southern accent is the friendliest accent there is. Sure beats the Maine accent, ayuh?

Least favorites
1. Weather. My friend Candi put it like this, 'Virginia's weather is consistently inconsistent.' Sure you can probably count on a good 4 months of sweltering heat and humidity, but after that its all up in the air. Take the past few days. Saturday morning I woke up to see it spitting snow (of course it didn't accumulate). Today it is 72 degrees and sunny with the most perfect breeze you can ever imagine. The weather men are calling for snow again on Friday. Go figure.
2. In between. Virginia is like a child born to a bi-racial couple. It's not accepted among the southern states, but not among the northern states either. Poor Maryland and Virginia. They just get left out. I can say I'm from the south if I go to Maine and they agree, but not so much if I go to Georgia.
3. Sports. Virginia doesn't have a professional sports team. In baseball we settle for the Atlanta Braves or the Baltimore Orioles and in football it's either the Redskins or a la carte. It's not like we don't have the money. I don't get it. How can New York city have 2 baseball teams when we get none? No fair.
4. Conservatism. I'm not saying I'm a liberal, but I'm certainly not conservative. Not to the extent that this state is. Example: A bill just barely got shot down that would have called for the punishment of boys under 18 who wear their pants below their waistline. Come, on Virginia, we've got better things to do.
5. Mom's not here. Self-explanatory.

I know you've yet to become a college campus activist, but if you were to become one, what would your cause be?
Well, that is a very tough question. College students are infamous for their many strong opinions. I am one of them. I guess if I have to pick just one cause it would be education. I don't hate Bush, but he has the wrong idea about education. No child left behind? Nobody wants children to be left behind, but does that mean we have to short-change the gifted children? I can see the logic behind standardized education, but it's not good for our country. By lowering the expectations and eliminating creativity and independent thinking we are creating one big mess. I have learned the most from the teachers who haven't taught straight from the book. Those teachers out there who don't worry about tests, but worry about teaching their students something that they will remember and use are the answer. Creating a test and teaching accordingly is ridiculous! That is not learning, that is conditioning. We must create learning environments in which children are given opportunities to challenge ideas and encouraged to discuss with their peers and teachers. Test taking is NOT a measure of intelligence, learning, or any sort of intellectual accomplishment. At least, multiple choice tests aren't helpful. Although I despise essay tests they are a much better measure of one's understanding of concepts. We cannot let our children be molded into test-taking robots. Standardized testing/teaching = standardized students. We don't want that. America likes diversity and opportunity. Let's not lose sight of that.

What is your favorite time of year and why? Give us your favorite memory from that time.
Spring is the time of year for me. Maybe it has something to do with being born in the Spring. Anyways, something about the warm weather, sun, flowers, birds, etc makes me feel giddy. After a couple months of cold weather I'm always more than ready for the short sleeves. It's not just the weather, but what the weather brings. Open windows, birds chirping, flip flops, sunglasses, outdoor activities. It's wonderful! My favorite Spring memory is a couple years ago in Maine. It had been a long winter and Spring was a saving grace. My friend and I decided to walk home from school on one of the first warm days in 4 months. It is a simple memory, but I remember it so vividly. The smells, the sounds, the feeling I had in my stomach. The first day of Spring in Maine is so freeing.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

It's mid semester crunch time...

It's that time again... you know, the time when the due date for projects are right around the corner. Last semester I wasn't so lucky. Crunch time fell only a week or two before finals. That was tough. I am happy to say that cruch time this semester is here a little earlier. My adolescent development project is due the Thursday after we get back from spring break, my history paper is due that Friday, bio presentation is the week after that along with my sociology project. The only thing left for the end of the semester will be my research methods paper. It will be nice to have all done well before finals. The one downside is how spring break is jammed right in the midst of our so-called crunch time. This means I will either have to show some motivation and get most of it done before break or I will have to work til my brain explodes after spring break in order to avoid spending my whole break doing work. It's all kind of overwhelming right now, so overwhelming that it is hard to get anything done. I can't wait for break!